Hoboken, Hudson County, New Jersey 07030
It occurred to me today that my junior prom was ten years ago. This realization quickly led me to the "Where did the time go?? How did it go so fast?? Why can I no longer go jogging without having to subsequently schedule several doctor's appointments??" stream of consciousness that used to be reserved for what I considered adults. While I feel I've almost reached adult status, I don't think I'll truly deserve the title until I'm able to keep my room clean for more than three consecutive days.
A lot can happen in ten years, and a lot has. But the past decade has not exactly played itself out the way I imagined. Mind you, I never had any specific master plan, but please - when I was seventeen, twenty-seven was eons away and I had all the time in the world to party, meet "the one," fall in love, get married, and maybe even start thinking about having kids. In reality, it has turned out to be plenty of time to party, fall in love, party, fall in love again, get a job in the city, move to Hoboken, and party some more.
A couple years ago, I started jokingly telling my friends that I would be getting married in 2012. Well, with two years down and only ten to go, I realize there is a very good possibility that by the time I do get married my prom dress may be back in style
Let's face it, the whole dating and relationship phenomenon is not easy - Pat Benetar's "Love is a Battlefield" is no longer just a catchy tune, but suddenly seems layered with meaning. And though this is true no matter what your geographic coordinates, there is a difference between being single, and being single in the New York area.
While practically every girl I know from home (upstate) is either shopping for a ring, a wedding dress, or furniture for the nursery, my friends and I are shopping for shoes, handbags, and the ever-elusive perfect guy. The longer I live here, the chances of finding the perfect guy in Hoboken seem about as likely as coming across the holy grail on eBay.
Don't get me wrong, Hoboken is a great place. I affectionately refer to it as the sixth borough (I mention that a lot in conversations, hoping it will catch on). One of the best things about Hoboken is the abundance of twenty- and thirty-somethings, contributing to a lively and thriving nightlife. However, this very abundance of young, available singles is part of the problem, at least from a girl's point of view. Allow me to explain:
Not to generalize, and there are always exceptions, but by and large, females are usually the ones to start looking to settle down first.
Yes, we like to party and have fun and dance on tables, but we also like having a hand to hold, a guaranteed date for weddings and holidays, and some security. Guys, on the other hand, tend to focus largely on the efforts to have a good time, which can be translated almost directly to the never-ending desire to hook up. Again, I don't want to stereotype, but I've had enough guy friends to make that statement pretty confidently. In fact, I probably don't even know the half of it. Therefore, the fact that there is no shortage of attractive (or at least well put-together) single women in Hoboken plays right into the natural male tendency to continually be on the lookout for something "better." Let me put it this way: have you ever seen a guy with access to a remote control actually sit through an entire program without constantly flipping from channel to channel? They’re worried they might be missing something - sure, Baywatch has hot chicks in bathing suits, but maybe they're completely topless on Skinemax!
Even though it's been ten years, I can remember my prom vividly - it was fun, beautiful, a great time with my friends. I also remember our dates not-so-patiently waiting for the party afterward, hoping all those rumors about the promise of prom night were true. In the decade that has elapsed, when it comes to guys, very little has changed.
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